Overtime, I’ve found that it’s easier for people to express what they don’t want in a relationship than it is to express their wants. This isn’t surprising because in life generally, it’s easier to focus on negative things than it is to focus on the positive. Little do we know that if we channel half as much energy on positive thoughts as we do on negative thoughts, we’ll have healthier relationships and a better society.
People use different techniques to get what they want; some use the direct approach, some others are manipulative, and a smaller percentage decide not to talk and shell. The disadvantage of this is they may quietly feel resentful toward their partner for not automatically knowing what they want. Their inner voices tell them they are unworthy or trying to convince them that they will experience humiliation, hurt, or rejection if they go after what they want. If you know someone who does this, drag them to read this they’ll find it helpful.
Sometimes, it happens, we run into that person;
that person who seems to be all: all that we have ever wanted in a partner.
The conversation is good, mind as good as he looks, the chemistry is tight;
and to crown it, the feeling seems mutual.
Then the “but;” there is a Number One somewhere; and he is dutifully committed.
Valentine’s Day may be long gone, but remember it’s still the season of love! Make it a season to remember with these fun challenges with your significant other. Try your best not to miss any day and share your thoughts on the outcome of each day.
Day 1: Heard of the five love languages before? Take the test with your partner on Dr. Gary Chapman’s website. This will help you discover each other’s love language and start developing ways to adopt it.
Day 2: Tell him three (random) things you appreciate about him. This will go a long way in his eyes, especially if his love language is “words of affirmation”. Be honest and don’t throw in words you don’t mean.
Day 3: Go on a date to one of your favourite places, somewhere you’ve both been before. This will bring back fond memories and offer more opportunities for connecting.
With Valentine’s day around the corner, it’s the perfect excuse to show some love. With each one of us running our daily lives and trying to thrive in this curveball-filled life, we so often seem to forget to show love to ourselves and even the people around us.
I never really got the hang of this day because I was confused about what we were actually celebrating. Were we celebrating an execution or were we celebrating love? But four February 14ths later, I’ve realized that contrary to popular belief, Valentine’s Day isn’t only about exchanging gifts, sweet messages and wearing red. It has gone beyond just a day to a month and is now a constant reminder of the art of showcasing, celebrating and living in love. February is now known as the month of love and I’ll keep rooting for love till love is life itself.
Question: When it comes to love and marriage, are emotions enough?
Emotions, they say, are fleeting and should never be trusted. But a lot of us make decisions based on how we feel or don’t feel. Worlds’ greatest wars have been fought and thousands, if not millions of lives, have been lost because of someone’s’ “emotions”.
On this love deals, it turns out that us humans secrete a feel-good hormone called oxytocin; it’s the same one that gives you butterflies in your stomach and causes your heart to skip a beat at the sight of your “prey”. So, for most people, when the chemicals in the brain wear off, they say they are no longer in love with someone they could once die or kill for.
#1. Am I getting married because I am in my late twenties/thirties and the society think it’s the next thing to do to live a fulfilled life?
#2. Am I actually psychologically, emotionally and spiritually ready for it?
#3. Honestly, am I doing it because all my friends are wearing bands and I don’t want to feel left out?
#4. Have I come to terms with the fact that majority of the married women who seem happy are actually wearing the smallest handcuffs and are looking for a way out?
#5. Am I getting married because I have been dating this particular person for years and it just seems like the polite thing to do?
I was having drinks with friends and acquaintances a few nights ago when we got talking about how fast our society’s value system is going down the drain. Prior to that, I thought I was the only one who had issues with the way things are done these days, especially when it comes to relationships.
What seems to happen these days is that a guy meets a girl with flawless foundation, well-shaped eyebrows, hot lipstick to match, snatched shape and human hair from a special nation that can pay one’s house rent per annum on her head – Peru, Brazil, Malaysia and the likes. Sadly, such a lady may have little or nothing “upstairs” (mentally) as she is used to meeting men who just like what they see and are focused on the urge to satisfy “Jonny down there” which blinds all judgment for choosing right. Therefore, the only form of personal development she seeks is the acquisition of the latest hair weaves, makeup and other wears which have a very short lifespan.
Thinking of interesting date ideas for you and the boo this weekend?
You’re bound to love at least one of these fun activities. Choose one and create beautiful memories right after!
1. Make Personalized Scavenger Hunts For Each Other
Set it up and have it go around your city or town, filled with clues based on your “history” together. The first clue can start from your house leading to the next at your favourite restaurant where you can decide to stop and have lunch then proceed to the next clue at a spa… the idea is to thoughtfully plan out each clue to make your significant other feel loved.
2. Have Game Night
This is my favourite. You can invite other couples over or make it about just the two of you. It’s always fun to get competitive. You can fix one day in a month for game night so you both can have something to look forward to
3. Take A Dance Class Together
It doesn’t hurt to learn a few moves together that you can show off later, right? Try a completely new dance style to both of you and have fun laughing at each other. You’ll be amazed at the effects it has on your relationship
It’s the spirit of giving, ladies! Let these quotes get you in the mood to compassionately give not just beautiful presents to those around you, but of your time, resources and more:
“What is fundamentally beautiful is compassion for yourself and others around you.” – Lupita N’yongo
It’s interesting how popular marriage is these days.
Scroll through Instagram and you’ll find at least one wedding or proposal post. With this and all the pressure from family, it’s amazing how single ladies manage to stay grounded and keep their cool.
Maybe it’s the truth we know all too well, that marriage isn’t a walk in the park. That biological age is no indication for “being ripe for marriage”, but mental age is. I have a few cousins who have expressed certain marital regrets to me; they wish they did not marry when they did. They think they weren’t mature enough to handle the institution of marriage at that time, so they’ve had to learn things the hard way. Before you end up like my cousins a few years down the line, there are many things you need to know before jumping the broom. I’ll be sharing my top 5: